I feel like crying... have been listening to this song thats been on repeat. I`m gonna go onto my bed and cry now.. -Period-

Boring boring day ! Have nowhere to go. ;( Might be heading to town for movie later. Decided against night safari trip as its damnnnnnnn far. Haha..Oh wells, anyways, that is not my purpose for blogging now. ;x

Anyways, me and ben have broken up. He initiated it because he says im not ready to start a new r/s.

Hmms, ben baby, im really very sorry for making you feel tht way. Its not that im not ready but its just that i need time from you. I know i`ve not really expressed my love for you and its not that i do not love you but just that i am not very good in expressing myself in speech. I can do it better in words. You should know how hurt i am from my past r/s and all im asking is for time from you to let me forget him. I thought you knew.. but i guess you dont. You said you did not want us to end up like my 5day r/s with my ex, but guess what? We did. I thought that we could last you know? I really did. Its not that im not putting in my effort into our r/s.. i`ve tried hinting you to bring me out, but you`re always with frens, frens and frens, when have you ever spend time with me eversince we`ve got tgt ? You cant expect me to fall crazily in love with you if you dont spend time with me. Im the sort of girl who expects lots of time from her bf. My friends all know im attached, at least i made it known, what about you? Sighh.. I didnt expect myself to be blogging about you this way, i thought there were chances in the future of me blogging about how happy we were tgt. If you had more patience with me, and given me more time, we wouldnt have ended up this way, we could have been happier you know? Hais, i really dont know what to say. All i can say is that i`m also very disappointed in what you`ve had for me...

Arghs, i really dont understand what i`ve done in my past life to deserve all this shit. My love life sucks and my confidence in falling in love is going down to the dumps. Am i really such a bad gf? Shit me luhh ! ;(

Aites, im gonna go roll on my bed and ponder bout this. Byeeeeeee !

Sammie is not very happy right now !

B-o-r-e-d ! Have been skipping lessons this few days. I think i`ll be dead when school reopens :D Arghs, so tired of my life now.

Was at home rotting my ass away the whole day. Ben came over to my place to accompany me for awhile because i was alone at home and afraid. :D Hahs. Waited for sandra to come home before he left my place. Went to bathe, dolled up and headed out to suntec with sandra to meet mommy and the rest. Ate at 'Kushin-bo'. The food there aint really very good, aint worth the money luhh ! There was this fat ass sitting beside our table, kept whispering to his friends about me & my sisters. Gosh, pls take a look at yourself, one chair doesnt seem enough to fit your fat ass ! Argh..

Went to 'Mango' after eating. Sisters all bought new clothes except for me because none caught my eye. Wanted to buy my white dress but i couldnt find it. Lols. So sadddd can? =( Headed home after that. Felt damn sick on the cab, eyes kept tearing, was feeling damn weak luhh. Upon reaching home, i removed my make up, and fell asleep all the way till now. Siann... No programmes tonight. Arghh. boring holidays. :(

Sighh. I really regretted calling him that night. If not, things wouldnt turn out the way it is now. 'Give up give up' is what i keep telling myself to do but i just cant. Why must the last time when we bid each other goodbye, i had to see him cry? Everytime i pick up my phone and dial his number, i get afraid that he would not want to answer my call. I can put down my pride for him, but i cannot take the pain if he doesnt answer my call. After all the mean things i`ve said, would he still wanna answer my call? I dont think so. Sighh... Boy, if you see this, im really very sorry for everything i`ve said and done. You said you didnt deserve me, but i guess im the one who really doesnt deserve you. If given a chance, i wont ask for more, but just for us to remain as friends. Too late now aint it ? I really wanted so much to hug you that night and cry my heart out when i saw you tearing, but i couldnt because my sisters were there and they told me not to cry infront of you. Sighh. I really miss you so fucking much that its beginning to hurt me all over again.

Gonna blog first before i head for a nap. Gonna bring mommy out for dinner later. :)

Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. Went to 'Melody Valley 2' with my sister sandra. Drank and drank till i got tipsy. Called marcus and blabbered alot of rubbish. I cried and sandra took my phone away and scolded marcus. Sigh. I didnt want things to turn out this way.. but since i`ve done it, i`ve gotta keep to it luh. Met marcus at tampines. Talked to him, said lotsa hurtful stuff to him, but i guess, he`ll know i do not mean it. Im really sorry boy. Forgive me ? But still, i wont back out. Pls do not contact me anymore, and i`ll not contact you too. Just give me time, time is all i need from you, to let me forget you. Yesterday, i was so pek chek i smoked too. Gosh.. (-____-") Anyways, i`ve really made up my mind this time round, and that is, i will be forgetting marcus once and for all. Forget the love we once shared.. Boy, you`ve gotta understand that i wont always be there for you. I`m utterly disappointed in what you`ve got for me. So everything you`ve been telling me the past few months were all 'jiao wei'. But thanks to my sister, i`ve finally woken up from this. I dont want to be the fool no longer. =) Do take care of yourself and study hard. =)) Just wanna say, i`m sorry for all the hurtful things i`ve said to you ytd. Dont take them to heart, because i did not mean it. Take care ya? =D

给我一杯忘情水
换我一生不伤悲
就算我会喝醉
就算我会心碎
不会看见我流泪


From today onwards, my heart is on you ben baby ! :D You better treat me well and dote me plenty plenty ;p. Teehee. Love youuuu asshole. =D


Sisters and me. =)

I love my sisters lots. Although we may always be quarrelling, but yet, they are the ones who are always there for me when im down. =D Love ya bitches.


Sammie outzxzxz ! :D

Hoho, its chinese o levels tmrw :D Cant wait for it to be over but yet, i dont want it to come. Hope lady luck would be shining on me tmrw and i`ll pass the paper smoothly. ;p

Stayed at home and rot the whole day. Wanted to go out but decided to stay at home and be mommy`s good girl since i`ve exams tmrw. Haha. This kinda good daughter where to find uh? ;x Have also written in my previous post that i`ll study hard as a promise i`ve made to boy, so im gonna keep to it. :D All my fellow fuckers out there, pls wish me good luckkk ! ;p Teeheeeeeeee.

Hmms, today also marks a new beginning in my life. Today marks the day whereby me & ben got together. Hahs. Although it was only a short period of time since we`ve met, but still... feelings cannot be explained. ;x Just hope we dont end up like my previous 5 day r/s or even end up the same as me & marcus, because i just cant stand guys deceiving me of my feelings >;( Hmms.. just hope things would work out btwn us luh ! :D

Alrights, im done blogging. :D Teeheeeeeee !

I wanna go zoo, i wanna go kbox, i wanna go wild wild wet, i wanna go escape. Anyone up for it? Ohoh, and shopping too, because the GREAT SINGAPORE SALES is here ! Hohoho ! :D

Wish me luck fucktards ;p Love you pple. :D HEHEHAHAHOHO!

Hoho. Deleted my previous post. Dont ask me why, i also dont know ! ;p Haha. Anyways, it was just an infatuation, thats all. =) Maybe, the lack of love and attention is really getting to me. Hahs..

Hmms, went out with ben ytd . He is a stupid ass, always bully me luh ! Hahaha ;p Met him and his friend at hg mall in the afternoon, afterwhich headed to compass to slackkk and den went to punggol end and headed home to bathe and change ! Met that kuku at 11 and he fetched me to vivocity. Watched 'Pirates Of the Carribean'. The movie was alright, just that it was too longgg, my ass almost broke into 10 million pieces. ;x Movie started at 12.30, ended at 3.30am. Mister ben fetched me home. Upon reaching home, i removed my make up and plonked onto the bed. Hibernated from 4+ am till 3.30pm. Was still damn sleepy but forced myself up. Ate and now im here blogging. ;D

Oh, and im damn dumb ! Haha. I sit bike so many times, but i still dont know how to wear the helmet. Hahaha. ;x And that dumb kuku keep scolding me cause i dunno how wear. Thats sadddd ! =( Haha. And stop bullying me okay ben? Hah. ;p Treat me nice and i`ll be doubly nice to you. And you will never leave me with bad souveiners. ;p Teeheeeeee !

Pictures pictures ! ( ITS ALL ME ONLY ) Hahaha

Teeheeeeeee ! :D


While waiting for ben`s call ! :D

Pictures from other days. ;p

This was taken on the day i PONG TANG school with crush. Went to katong shopping centre`s ' Teo Heng' Karaoke to sing song. Enjoyable day thou we were dead beat. :D

Me and rebekah ! Thats what you get from 2 very bored girls in school. Hahaha

Aites, its the 26th today. Boy, if we were still tgt, it would be our happy 2 years 2 months. Time really flies aye? Its been 3 months plus since we`ve seperated. Although i`ve decided that we both should move on, i wanna let you know i still aint any happier w/o you. What about you? Sighh.. I miss you asshole. =)

Baby wont you walk me home?

Gonna blog before i head to bed for a nap. Hahs. My feet stinks, its giving me a headache. Hahaha ! ;x

Gonna meet crush early in the morning tmrw. Guess we`re gonna give school a miss. Not sure of where to go, have not planned. Hahs.

Got back my results today. Haha. Dropped terribly compared to the past. Last time, i only failed math. Now, i failed math, science and combine humanities. How nice ! Mommy is gonna slaughter me luhh ! Owells, mid year only ! Hahaha. O level chinese is on next monday, hope it`ll be easy so i need not retake :D Hahs.

As for marcus, aite, i dunno what to say. I`ve run out of words to say and no matter how much i say, none is gonna help. I admit i do miss him so badly, but whats there to do? Was watching 'Meet the fockers' ytd. Memories of him laughing at the name ' Gaylord Focker' and ' Martha Focker'. Darn cute luhs ! Owells, uncountable times of me relieving our memories and yes, i`ve gotta admit they were sweet and will always be kept close to my heart. I guess its time we both moved on. I dont want to cling on to him and let him drag me along the road, and hurt me again. 3 months of waiting, 3 months of pain. 3 months might not even be a long wait to those who have waited for 3 years, but i dun have that much time to see him playing ard while i stand at the side like a fool. I`m human too ya know? I also want love, care and attention from others. Boy, i guess you`ve not had enough. Seriously speaking, i really wanna thank you for that one night. You know wad im talking bout right? I dont care if you were drunk or whether it was real, all i wanna say is thanks because i really needed that hug and kiss from you. Maybe that was your way of bidding me goodbye? I dont know. I know you`ve been waiting very long for me to say this, and im gonna say it now. I really wish you & her all the best, sincerely from the bottom of my heart. Lastly, i still do love you, but i do not want to be hurt by you anymore. I`ve really had enough. So.. friends aite? Pls study hard and dont fool around anymore. You`re seventeen this year, not young anymore. Time to grow up and think okay? Dont waste your mom`s effort and money trying to put you through school. Just awhile more, we can pull through tgt okay? :D Promise me you`ll study hard, and i promise you i will too. One day, whenever you need me or need a listening ear, or even when everyone leaves you, rest assure that when you turn back, you`ll always see me there. Hahs. Rmb, im your irritating antsy ! You see me E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E ! Haha. No matter what we are, lovers or friends, you`ll always be my purple mouse and i`ll always be your stupid black gao hia ! Haha! Hahaha. you`ll never be able to get rid of me ! ;x Hohoho. Stupid lil boy, you`ll always be kept close and safe in my heart okay? I`ll never forget you, nor forget the love we once shared. They were really sweet indeed. :D Dont you ever dare forget me as your ex- irritating wifey ok ! Cos i bet none of your future gfs would be as irritating as me ! Teehee.


Antsirina Love Mousirina Aites boy, this is dedicated to you. Hmms, I guess this is the end of our love story. Bittersweet memories i`ll always remember. :D Guess whatever i wrote at your house playground did not come true. Rmb this? ' Samantha Love MarcusLove since 26march 05` till forever'Hahs, It never came true. ;(
Ohh, and btw, i still hug our baby to sleep. Hees ! :DTake good care of yourself ok ! :D If only our love could find a way, i`ll cry an ocean if you could sail back home again. Guess our love couldnt find its way...

Booya ! Blogging before i head to bed. Damnn tired. ;x Humpf.

Anyhoos, im officially 17 ! Haha. No big fuck luhs. Still cannot do alot thing. Haha. ;( On my bday, skipped school. Dickson brought me out. Caught 'Blades Of Glory'. Darn funny luh the show. Hahs. After the show, headed to cineleisure with him to meet ex-bf. Stayed around for awhile and whilst waiting for stacy, dickson left first. Hahs. Headed to somewhere ard esplanade. Talked to stacy till day broke. Cabbed home and plonked on the bed till around 10+ am and woke up. Headed to town as there was a literature lecture at RELC. Hahs. Met up with roz, rachel and rebekah. Went to eat and afterwhich attended the boring lecture. I wasnt even listening. Was cam-whoring, eating sweets, disturbing pple.. basically doing everything besides listening. Haha. After the talk, headed to far east. Wanted to get 2 dresses by myself but rebekah and huiling offered to pay for me as a bday pressie. Damnnn sweet luh. Thanks babes ! :D Left town at around 10+. Headed to tampiness to meet ah xiang. Chit chatted awhile and i left to meet dickson. Watched ' Turista (?) ' with him. Was damn tired after that. Laid on his bed and never got up till morning. Hahs. Fell asleep luh ! Woke up today at around 12+pm. Cabbed home, bathed, ate and slept again. Living the life of a pig. Hahs. ;x And now, im damn tired still. Wthhh ! =( Hahs

Ohh, forgot to mention my baby and desmond toh. Hahs. They came to my house at 12 midnight on my bday. Brought me a cake. :D Damnn sweet. Hahs. Love you bitches. ;p Better last long aite? Teehee.

Shall upload a few pictures over the past few days. ;p

Cake from baby and desmond. Its darn yummy ! :D hahs

Hp keychain from dickson. Hahs. It has my face imprinted on it. Everytime i see it, i wanna laugh. Hahs ;x Its a mini me.

This is what you get from very bored girls in a lecture.

Friends friends ;p

Photos of me over 2 days span. haha. Very little le hohs ! ;x

Aites. Thanks to all those pple who wished me happy birthday. Thou it wasnt spent with him, you guys really made my day. Thanks to all the unknown people who msged me in friendster and phone to wish me happy bday, though i dunno you pple, but still, appreciated ! ;p

Shall upload pictures of my dresses another day. ;P

Bye pple. Love youuu! Teehee